All of the Lights Cover

Chris Simms Acquitted for Smoking and Driving

Former NFL QB Chris Simms, best known as the son of super bowl winner and current sportscaster Phil Simms, has won his case against the NYPD who suspected him of smoking weed in his car. As you can see, he was clearly high as fuck at the time, but luckily the officer made a crucial mistake that led to the acquittal. Still, at the time of his stop he was described as acting like a zombie, and Simms told the officer there was no weed in the car because "he smoked it all". After getting cut by the Titans early last year, its pretty clear he won't play in the NFL again, and this arrest certainly isn't helping his case. Its good to see him spending his "retirement" the right way.

Bill Russell Finally Given Proper Acknowledgement

Finally this NBA great and most importantly Celtic great is getting recognized with a statue outside of the Garden. Easily one of the best to ever play the game, accumulating 11 championships and 4 MVP awards while with the Celts. Means he has 11 rings, he can't even fit them all on both of his hands, has to wear one around his neck, fucking savage. Fuck you Kobe! And Lebron your a disgrace at least win 1 you pussy.

Sav of the Day

Pvt. 1st Class Anthony T. Kaho'ohanohano

This Hawaiian dude was recently awarded the Medal of Honor, despite getting killed in 1951. Serving in the Korean War, he committed some of the most commendable acts of savagery in the stage of battle that I have ever heard. Basically what happened was the 21 year old Kaho and his battalion were getting hit real hard by the Asians. They were clearly outnumbered and were forced to retreat. But Kaho being the sav that he is went back behind enemy lines by himself and proceeded to fire at them until he was out of ammunition, at which point he engaged in hand to hand combat until he was killed. The total kill count: 14. That's an unbelievable kill to death ratio.. 14 to 1. But this is real fucking life. Kids got some balls.

Christian Bale Continues His Quest for Savagery

Can't wait to see how crazy Heath Ledger's performance is going to be......too soon? But on a serious note I am pumped to see this movie the last Batman was nuts, and with practically the whole cast returning, including former Sav of the Day Christian Bale, this one is bound to be the best Batman yet. Might get the Batman emblem branded on my back just like Bale, except he may be a little more chizzled.

For the Playoffs

Adrien Brody Reading the Ten Crack Commandments

Adrien Brody went up a notch in my book. That puts him at notch one.

Sav of the Day

Barack Obama

In keeping with the patriotic theme of savs we've been having, I think its a no brainer that Barack "the rock" Obama gets his time in the sun. And really, this was warranted even before he hunted down Bin Laden. Over the weekend our commander in chief took the stage at the annual White House Correspondents Dinner, and was fucking comedy. Takes shots at all his critics, especially Donald Trump, who was not having it at all. Fast forward to the 10 minute mark where shit gets real funny and Trump gets rattled. Keep in mind he was doing this knowing that we were in the process of tracking Bin Laden, the biggest make or break moment of his presidency. The dude had a lot on his plate.

Our last 3 presidents have been savs (Obama, Bush, Clinton). This says a lot about our nation. Fuck France.

Not Your Average Talking Dog...

...This dog actually is saying this shit. I'm 50% sure.

Savagery at the Preakness

So at the Preakness every year, they do these "toilet runs" where you run across the porta-pottys while getting pummeled by hundreds of beer cans. This guy takes it like a champ, hilarious when he gets nailed with about 4 toilets to go. Would love to be in attendance for this.

Sav of the Year

Soldier Who Killed Osama Bin Laden

Though the info on this is pretty scarce at the time, its been confirmed public enemy number 1 Osama Bin Laden has been killed. Its not known exactly which soldier killed him, but apparently he was killed in firefight after learning of his location, and was shot in the head. Regardless, this is a testament to the hard work put in by the Armed Forces to rid the world of this son of a bitch. Finally we can all rest knowing that the leader of terrorism in the world is dead, and not on his own terms. We all hope these last 10 years have been miserable for Bin Laden, and now he's in his rightful fiery grave. Burn in hell, Osama.

Sav of the Day

Lloyd Banks

What a better gift on your 29th birthday than to be named Sav of the Day. The G Unit member was kind of born into fame and success by just being childhood friends with 50 Cent, but there's no denying Banks' talents. The man can spit, and he's got one of the most distinctive voices in the game. His career tapered off a bit a few years ago when the Kanye Wests of the world put gangsta rap out of favor, but he made a huge comeback last year with the song "Beamer, Benz, or Bentley" (which has one of the best beats ever). It looks like Banks is here to stay, and we look forward to hearing more sick songs from him.

Sav of the Day

Adam Schefter

No question the biggest sav to come out of last night’s draft was Adam Schefter. No it wasn’t Mel Kiper Jr who left a giant jizz stain on everyone’s television set. Not Cam Newton or Blaine Gabbert who are dooming their respective franchises until they are forced to move to Los Angeles. It’s Adam Schefter, the guy who was sitting on the bench next to Chris Mortensen in ESPN’s draft coverage. He made the most of his lack of airtime, instead using twitter to tell the world who the next team was gonna pick (and he was mostly dead on). How is Schefter such an insider? I have no idea, but what I do know is that his talents have pushed John Clayton (that old fuck) to scrap heap of ESPN’s NFL guys. Schefter just knows his shit. 

The Dean's List- Dear Professor

Sick new song from up and coming rap trio The Dean's List. Hailing from Boston (and one of them from NJ) these guys definitely have the potential to shake things up. Ill production on this track, infectious sample...might just be a jam for the summer.

All it Takes is a Fence

Crazy left side is U.S. with just open land, and the right side Mexico, full of non stop craziness.

Good Hit Wes Welker

Wes Welker we already know is a savage, but just came across this. Check out this broad that he is dating, complete dime. Anna Burns, a model, and winner of the 2005 International Hooters contest. Congrats Wes.

Sav of the Day

Mark Herzlich

There’s not a bigger sav in this draft class than linebacker Mark Herzlich. He may not have the name recognition of the Cam Newton’s of the world, but he has the most amazing story. He started his first few years at Boston College as one of the most promising players in the nation, being named an All-American and the ACC Defensive Player of the Year. Then in 2009 he was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Like the sav he is he continued his workouts throughout the chemo, and was announced as cancer-free. Though he sat out the entire year, he came back strong in 2010. Draft prospects still relish in his talents, and he’s expected to be a mid-round pick this year, possibly going as high as the second round. Herzlich’s an inspiration to us all, and the fact that he’s a beast makes him a guy all NFL fans want on their team.

Great Trio Here- Drop in the Ocean

Eminem, Kanye, and Wiz Killing it in this...

Lebron Rattled

The Heat practiced at Saint Joe's in Hagan over the past weekend, and this is one of my buddies chirping at Lebron. The video is not the best, but funny if you listen in, right at the end of the video Lebron responds; "Don't get embarrassed." Note my friend was wearing a Larry Bird jersey, this just adds onto the list of why Lebron sucks.

Sav of the Day

Jon Gruden

Chucky gets the nod today because not only is Thursday the NFL draft (and of course Jonny will be there analyzing each pick) but he's easily one of the biggest savages ever to grace the sideline. His intensity is unmatched, he constantly just chirped at the refs and shouted outrageous expletives while rocking his patented visor look. And you can't put his resume in question either, Gruden won the 2002 Super Bowl with the Bucs making him the youngest head coach to ever do it. Nowadays you can find him on ESPN doing Monday Night Football and doing bullshit football segments like Gruden's QB Camp, which is basically him gloating over draft prospects that are all better than the QBs he coached (Jeff Garcia? Brad Johnson? Chris Simms?..I rest my case). I'm convinced Gruden can get virtually any NFL or college job he wants, he's just waiting for the right opportunity.

Here's a clip of a Gruden pregame speech. Tell me you wouldn't want to go to war this guy. Not quite Pacino in AGS, but this ain't a movie, dog.

Lil Wayne- I'm Into You

Good Hit Jay Cutler

Jay Cutler, although a pussy as shown in last year's NFC Championship, just got engaged to former Laguna Beach smoke show, Kristin Cavallari. I mean you have to hate his little puss face that he puts on every time he is on the field, with no expression what so ever (not as bad as Eli Manning,) but still not a fan. But with that said if he is engaged to a babe from Laguna Beach, I guess that moves him up a notch or two in my book.

The College Triangle

Sav of the Day

The Waterskiing Squirrel

I realize this video is over a million years old, but you gotta give credit where credit is due. When you're easily the most prolific and talented being in your species, you are definetley a sav. The waterskiing squirrel is the only noteworthy squirrel I've ever known...most of them just run around looking for acorns and run away like a pussy when you get close. This one doesn't do that shit. He bides his time waterskiing, and getting as much tail most squirrels get in 10 years, in 2 days. So enjoy the moment squirrels, this will in all likelihood be your last sav.

Sweet Poker Face Russell

How awkward does this have to be? This past Sunday at the White House,for the annual Easter Egg Hunt, Russell Simmons spent the day with his kids and ex-wife, oh yeah and most importantly, his ex-wife's new husband, Dijimon Honsou. Seriously this has got to be so awkward for Russell/ must piss him off to no end, to just have to sit there all day and have to put up with this bullshit. Bad hit.

Sam Adams- Hold On

Sav of the Day

Rene Rancourt

Today's Sav of the Day is Rene Rancourt. Now that we are currently in the middle of the NHL Playoffs, it is fittingly so that the singer of the National Anthem for the Bruins gets the nod today. For the last 35 years he has been singing both the U.S. and Canadian (which Bruins fans aren't as disgraceful as the Habs piece of shit fans, so we do not boo it.) National Anthems. The best part is, that he does not even have a contract with the Bruins, according to Rancourt; "I've never had a contract; I’ve always just shown up and I’ve become associated with the Bruins." Besides the actual singing, the thing that he is most known for is his signature fist pump after every time he finishes the National Anthem, complete Savage!

Sav of the Day

Al Pacino

If you're gonna have a discussion on all time greatest sav actors, Chino's gotta be towards the top of this list. Though most of the movies he makes now completely suck, his mere presence is enough to make it watchable. And fuck it...his resume speaks for itself. He's done it all. He's played cops, drug dealers, doctors, mobsters, and he's always on. The Godfather series. Scarface. Heat. The list goes on. He's also a boss in his personal life..dude's never been married. Clearly he knows there's no point of having some money grubbing whore steal half his net worth when he'll fuck them anyway.

Below is a clip from Any Given Sunday. Its the best inspirational speech ever made, real or scripted. If it doesn't get you jazzed up go kill yourself.

Sav of the Day

"The Shot Heard Around the World"

Although the shooter is unknown, the person who pulled the trigger on this date in 1775, is a complete Sav, for it ignited the American Revolution. With that shot it was the first of many revolutions to stop the British from having control over the United States. It took balls to do this, considering before the shot there was just shouting, and seemed like what previously had always happened was going to happen again, the British were just going to continue to remain in control. This took courage for this guy to do this, putting his life on the line, but this would prove to pay off, encouraging other Americans to stand up, and find a national identity, to become it's own independent country, The United States of America! Fuck Ya!

Childish Gambino- My Shine

Sav of the Day

Nicolas Cage

More and more details are starting to be revealed about Cage's arrest early Saturday morning. Apparently he drunkenly stumbled into a tattoo parlor, demanded to get tatted up, and then requested the police be called because he forgot where he lived. He was booked on charged of domestic violence and disturbing the peace. Stories about Cage just keep getting weirder and weirder. Despite being a respected actor and having won an oscar, most of his movies of the past 10 years have been virtually unwatchable, mainly because he's a shitty actor. Here's a youtube video with clips from the movie The Wicker Man, and by the looks of it this had no business being made. In Nic's mind, a paycheck's a paycheck.

Sav of the Day

Uncle Tito

Rocket Power was full of people who thought were savs but were really just homos. Otto was an arrogant asshole, Twister was his bitch, and Sam was a squid. Uncle Tito was always there to keep the kids in check. He could cook a mean burger at the shack, and had a wise Hawaiian saying for literally everything. Plus he could surf better than anyone despite his fatness. Here's to you Tito. We could all use a Hawaiian uncle in our lives.  

Sav of the Day

Jackie Robinson

Today's Sav of the Day, is Jackie Robinson. On this date April 15th, 1947 he pulled the ultimate Sav move by breaking the color barrier in the MLB. At age 28 he was the first African-American to ever play baseball in the MLB. He broke into the league with the Dodgers, who at the time were playing in Brooklyn. He wore the number 42, which is retired across all of baseball now to recognize his performance. He put up the stats that he did while constantly being under the spotlight, due to the racism during the time he played. He was constantly being heckled, and faced major discrimination throughout his whole career, and still made himself into one of the best that ever played.

NBA Playoffs: Western Conference First Round Preview

San Antonio (1) vs. Memphis Grizzlies (8)

I’ve heard a lot of upset talk with this one. But you really can’t pick against the Spurs, who’ve obviously been there before, and have a way better team than Memphis. OJ Mayo and his band of castoffs will not beat 4-time champion Tim Duncan. Next.

Los Angeles Lakers (2) vs. New Orleans Hornets (7)

There’s been so much talk around the sports world about what’s wrong with the Lakers throughout the regular season. They have gone on some major cold streaks, but overall they have the second seed in the better conference. It is still the same old Kobe, with the same Gasol-Odom-Artest supporting cast. The Hornets were a surprise to make the playoffs, but Chris Paul has been his old self as of late, and David West has had a resurgence. Regardless, the Lakers should cruise past them in this series.

Dallas Mavericks (3) vs. Portland Trailblazers (6)

The Mavs always choke in the playoffs. No matter how well they play during the season, Dirk and the boys can’t close. The Blazers will win this series in 7, because Brandon Roy is a better playmaker than Nowitski, and Dirk has way too much too prove this year with too little supporting cast.

Oklahoma City Thunder (4) vs. Denver Nuggets (5)

The Nugs got a bad draw this series. No one expected Denver to be better after trading Melo but that’s exactly what happened. But the Thunder have been tough to beat, and I see them going to the conference finals this year. It was a good run, but hit the showers Nuggets. 

Sav of the Day

John Wilkes Booth

Today's Sav of the Day, is John Wilkes Booth.On this date yes he did kill one of the greatest Presidents of all time in Abe Lincoln. But this took some serious brass balls to shoot the President of the United States, being the first President ever to be shot. He was a famous stage actor at the time so when he jumped off the railing, onto the stage breaking his ankle like a Sav, people thought it was just part of the play. He then continued to shoot the President, and ran on his broken ankle, hopped on his horse, and drove off into the night. But before he left he yelled, "Ever Thus To Tyrants! The South is Avenged!" This guy stood for what he believed in, and followed through in a Sav way.

George Costanza Voicemail

Best voicemail ever.

April, The Best Month for Sports

One of the most underrated topics of discussion for sports fans is this: what month of the year gets our balls hard the most. Everyone has their preference of favorite sporting events, but I'm willing to bet you didn't realize how awesome the month that comes after march is for the fans. Here's why April is the best sports month:

1) The end of the March Madness. The entire month of march is sick if your a college hoops junkie, but April is when the most important games happen: the final four and national championship. Even if all our brackets are fucked at this point, these are can't miss games and are almost always exciting (i'm looking at you Butler/UConn)

2) Opening day. For all the hoopla surrounding the baseball offseason and pitchers/catchers reporting and spring training, the first pitch of the season is when we really start to pay attention and get in that baseball mood. Plus, every team is in first place (excluding the pirates).

3) The NBA and NHL playoffs begin. These best of 7 series are always intriguing, even if your not much of a fan during the season. This is when you start to watch every game.

4) The Masters. Its a tradition unlike any other.

5) And finally, the NFL draft. Easily one of the most exciting nights of the year. Its like Christmas for some people. And now its in primetime, so it really feels like a sporting event now. Even if there won't be football next year.

So True

I have to agree with this one, kind of bizarre that older cougars prey on the cast of Twilight.

Sav of the Day

Tiger Woods

"My wife will kill me if I cheat"

"Not bad.."

This may seem a little strange considering the masters were a few days ago and he didn't win. However, his anniversary of becoming the youngest person ever to win the Masters comes today. And he won the thing by 12 strokes, raping the field of veterans around him. To play that well on such a difficult course and on such a giant stage is truly amazing, especially when you're 21 (that's word to your pussy ass, McIlroy). To all those who hated on the Schwartzel SOTD, Woods was the alpha savage of the whole field. Since his first major victory he's compiled many more wins, and became the highest paid athlete in the world. He also took some time off from his dime wife to bang every porn star, stripper, and cocktail waitress he came across. Hate him or love him, he's the last guy any golfer wants to face on the back 9, and his mere presence can make a boring golf game must see TV.

Wiz Khalifa- G Shyt

NBA Playoffs: Eastern Conference First Round Preview

This has been a pretty wild NBA season. Between the meteoric rise of Blake Griffin, and the seesaw season of the Miami Flamers, and the couple blockbuster trades that took place (Melo and D-Will), it’s been a fun season for basketball fans. The playoffs this year look wide open, with more than a few definite contenders, and some random wild card teams in the mix. Today we’re doing a preview of the first round for the Eastern Conference, followed by a Western Conference Preview tomorrow.

Chicago Bulls (1) vs. Indiana Pacers (8)

The Bulls are absolutely deserving of their first seed. They have the probable MVP in Derrick Rose, whose looking like the new Jordan in Chi-town (could’ve been you Lebron). Now he has a solid supporting cast in Carlos Boozer, Luol Deng, and Joakim Noah. They should sweep the Pacers, who are a team of college heroes of the past (Hansborough, Hibbert, Rush, McRoberts).

The Edge: Chicago

Miami Heat (2) vs. Philadelphia 76ers (7)

The Sixers are a decent team for the first time since Iverson, but let’s not put too much stock in them. They’re a .500 team, and their best player is Elton Brand. We all would love to see the Heat get upset, but it won’t happen in the first round.

The Edge: Miami

Boston Celtics (3) vs. New York Knicks (6)

Easily the most intriguing matchup. The Knickerbockers have a lot riding on this, they need to prove it was worth trading their future for Melo. If they do end up winning the championship it will prove offense wins championships, because the Knicks can’t play a shred of D. The C’s should be able to prove too much for them. They’ve been close to the top of the East all year, they have all the experience you could ask for, and they’re still very hungry.

The Edge: Boston

Orlando Magic (4) vs. Atlanta Hawks

The Magic are a very talented team, and they always seem to be a contender when the playoffs come around. Jameer Nelson is inching towards superstar status, and Dwight Howard is hands-down the best big man in the league. They got a good draw in this round with the Hawks, considering they never seem to be a factor in the playoffs. It will be interesting to see how far the Magic can go.

The Edge: Orlando

Sav of the Day

Yuri Gagarin

50 years ago today, the Russian became the first human being in space. That could literally be one of the coolest distinctions to have, to be the very first guy to ever leave earth. What he experienced on that journey no one had ever before, and he had no idea what to expect. It'd be cooler if he was American, but he still has to be one of the most under the radar savs of all time. The first human in space, and no one really knows who he is. Even going into space now is a ridiculous experience, most people alive never get to go. Props to you Yuri, most of us would be shitting their pants if that was them.

Top Trophies in Sports

1. Stanley Cup

Lord Stanley's Cup is the clear cut number 1. Unlike the other sports, there is only one championship trophy. So when you get lucky enough to kiss it, and hoist it over your shoulders, you are doing the same that your heroes did when you were watching them when you were growing up.

2. Olympic Gold Medal

The gold medal is a very close second. So many sports are only recognized when it comes down to the time of the Olympics, so to win a Gold Medal pretty big deal.

3. Lombardi Trophy

The Lombardi trophy is also great, considering the Super Bowl is one of the most watched sporting events every year.

4. World Series Crown

America's past time, has to be up in the top 5 for a championship trophy. It is the longest season there is, and has to be one of the most satisfying championships to win.

5. Green Jacket

Coming off 18 with a little fist pump and a kiss from your wife. After 4 grueling days, has to be an amazing feeling.

6. Heisman Trophy

7. BCS National Championship

8. Larry O'Brien Trophy

9. Lingerie Football League Championship Trophy

10. Tour De France Yellow Shirt

Sav on a Bike

This guy is hands down the man! Great Video

Smoking Monkey

Complete Savage, Monkey just rips butts all day.

I'll Take Colbert on this One

Stephen Colbert


Rebecca Black

I know this is way past it's primes, but just saw the Colbert version. And this was a Late Night parody sketch, and it still blows the original out of the water

Battle Shots

Not too bad of a game, I mean these kids kind of look like goobers, but besides that pretty sweet game. Next time I am stuck with just one buddy I will try it out.

Quickest Way To Any Point: Make the Stairs Steep as Shit

85 Degrees Today?....It's Like a Heat Wave

Sav of the Day

Charl Schwartzel

Today's Sav of the Day is of course the Masters Winner, a tradition like no other. Not only was it amazing that he won the Masters with the the star studded cast that he was up against, but in the fashion that he did it was remarkable. I am not gonna lie I was pulling for Tiger, who by the way was no slouch, making up 7 shots in the front 9 yesterday. Schwartzel did not gain the lead until the 17th hole, where he birdied to take the lead. He went to the 18th and came up with yet another birdie. He finished the Masters by finishing with 4 straight birdies, being the first to ever do this to win the Masters. Congratulations on the win Charl, truly amazing, and congrats on your wife, truly a fox.

Awesome Pic of Jordan and Bryant Facing Off

Its been so long since Jordan was with the Bulls and since Kobe's still going strong its hard to imagine that they once went toe to toe. Here's a pic of a young Kobe facing off against Jordan in his prime..two of the all time greats.

Sav of the Day

Russell Brand

A lot of people hate on Russell Brand, and with good reason. His style of comedy is real unconventional, and he just seems like a real weird person. But he definitely made Forgetting Sarah Marshall a great movie just because he wasn't another Seth Rogen-Jason Segel type. Two of his movies are currently at #1 and #2 at the box office, Hop and Arthur. Both of these look terrible, but just look whose at his side. Katy Perry, easily one of the hottest girls on the planet. The man's done pretty well for himself.

Mike G- Forest Green

Sav of the Day

Beer

Have another one.

Celebrities Team Up for Beastie Boys Video

The Beastie Boys have been off the radar for a while now. They've been prepping for a new album "Hot Sauce Committee Part Two", and have released this 2 minute preview video for a 30 minute video they're releasing later on. The video has tons of celebs in it, including Will Ferrell, Danny McBride, John C. Reilly, Elijah Wood, Susan Surandon, and Ted Danson to name a few. Check it out.

Sav Rocca

Not Sav of the Day worthy, but I am surprised I did not find this before. The Punter for the Philadelphia Eagles name is "Sav" when I saw that I was pumped. Kind of pussy status considering he is a Punter. But he is built like a fucking mamouth 6 foot 5 and a solid 265 pounds, that is a punter you do not want standing between you and the endzone.