Mario Kart 64 Player Rankings

8. Toad

Let's face it just take a look at him, he is a little piece of shit, has no power and never finds himself in the winner's circle.

7. Princess Peach

Literally the biggest dick tease she rakes when you play against her in Grand Prix, but every time you are her she sucks, but she wins when the computer is her that is why she is placed in front of Toad.

6. Donkey Kong

Literally slowest piece of shit, but does have his size going for him on tight turns.

5. Yoshi

He's a gay Dinosaur, but is very quick, and great for drifting.

4. Bowser

Bowser is a beast, and despite having his own castle he does not have the agility to place on the podium.

3. Luigi

Gotta be in the top 3, but similar to Robin compared to Batman, he will never be able to better his partner in crime.

2. Wario

Despite his off the field issues with the allegations of him raping Peach in Bowser's castle, he is still a great racer, if you bump into him your fucked, and he also has great speed.

1. It's A Mi Mario!

Rightfully so sitting in the driver's seat, considering it would not even be a game if it was not for him. He is always a good pick and will very rarely let you down.